Frustrated Rant.

As great as my bdsm/spanking life has been, the other half hasn't been all that great.

My rant is starting with my other half.  It's so frustrating to have graduated college, in a field that is suppose to be booming.  The fact that I only have a part-time job is slowly killing me right now.  I try so hard not to get discouraged by all the people that I knew in college who are working in the field that I should be working in too.  I would never wish them to not be working, but I can't help but wonder when my time will come.  I've honestly been patience enough.

And now, I'll segue back to my bdsm/spanking half.  The three people who know me most know this very part about me.  It was hard taking that initial step and letting it out.  But it's out now and they know what I do with S.  I want to call it a relief, but it's not that easy.  They are non-judging and happy that I'm happy.  The rest of my friends know I'm seeing someone and that we have fun.  Out of those three people, my best friend is also happy that I'm happy but also less supportive than I thought she would be.  I know it's an adjustment because I never given another person as much thought and effort as I have with S.  And I feel as if it's effecting our friendship.  There are a couple other factors, but this is the main one.  It's also hard wanting to talk to her about S and feeling that she doesn't want to actually hear it.  I've asked her if she doesn't want me to talk about him, and she says she doesn't mind, but I don't know if she's trying to appease me.

I'm so comfortable with who I am and what I do.  I didn't think I'd get to this point, or rather I didn't think I'd get here so soon.  As I read things online, I feel so lucky to have found someone who is respectable and knows what he is doing.  Since the beginning of my blogging journey, my needs and wants have shifted.  S could have easily fit my needs/wants then as well as he could fit them now.  Although, I'm not sure if he would've responded to my initial needs.  Anyway, I'm happy with where I am in this area of my life.  And really I can't ask for more.