Hurt Me.

I had asked him for a spanking.  And I let him know I was going to be by him and a time frame of when I'd be free.  He told me to text him as I was getting ready to go back home.

"I think I'll be done around 8 tonight."
"That's better.  Would you like me to hurt you?"
"Yes sir. Please."

"Ok."

"I just wrapped up with my friends.  Should I head towards you?"
"Yes come over."

15 minutes later, I ring his bell.

"Make yourself at home.  I'll be busy for a little."

And he buzzes me up.

I peel my jacket and sweater off and plug my phone in.  I lay down on the couch, and I dozed off.  I wake up startled when he called out my name.  He realized that he had just woken me up from sleeping and apologizes for scaring me.  He told me to come to him when I was ready.  I sit dazed for a couple minutes.  I get myself together and walk into his room.

"Are you ready or do you need a couple more minutes?"
"I'm ready."

He spanks me a couple times then he walks over to get his flogger.  He asked if I want to be spanked or flogged.  I, of course, said I want to be spanked.  I'm not sure if he hears me, but he started flogging me.  I thank him for it and he asked how hard it was on a scale of 1-10.  I tell him it was a 4.  He continues, and he starts to come down on me harder. I start squirming, the pain is so bad, but also so good.

"Do you think you can handle 50 spanks?"
"I don't know."
"I want you to count every one of them."
"Yes sir."

I start counting them and compared to the flogger it wasn't bad at all.  They progressively get worse.  By the mid-30's, my ass is aching and it seems like he was going at a super speed.  I don't get a chance to thank him and that was the first comment he made as soon as we got to 50.

"I didn't hear a single thank you for from. I beat you like you ask, and not one for the 50 I just gave you.  If my hand wasn't hurting, I'd give you more with my hand."
"I'm sorry sir.  Thank you sir.  Thank you for spanking me."
"Oh, just you wait..."

He picks the flogger back up and starts flogging my ass with.  Soon, I am floating slowly into a peaceful state of mind.  Then the flogger starts to wrap around to my hip, leaving me with a stinging feeling.  I want him to stop so bad, but I also want him to continue.  With more squirming and me ferociously grabbing onto his pillow and comforter, he stops and asked if I had enough.  I say I wanted more, so he continues even harder with his flogger.

"Would you like more?"
"Yes sir."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Oh you are going to get it."
I heard him walking, so I turned to him.
"Close your eyes."
"Yes sir."

I hear him rummaging through his toy chest.  I don't know what I should be expecting.  He comes back and whacks me right across my entire bottom.

"It's your favorite."
"Ah, nooooo."
"Did I just hear a no?"
"No sir."

He continues paddling me and I started shifting my legs and squirming.  But with one "stop moving/stay still" I do.  The paddle has never been and never will be an implement I enjoy.  I hate that it's thuddy, and the pain is unbearable.  Well at least when he spanks me with it.  I start to tell him that it's too much. He tells me to start begging for him to stop. I start begging and he doesn't let down.  I try to just absorb the pain, but that doesn't last and I start squirming again.

"Ass down."
"Yes sir."

I say as I groan into the pillow and he starts counting down from 10.  But with him it always changes, so I don't know if it'll be 10 more or he's just counting down.  He counts down and I start to tell him that I can't.  He assures me that I can and reaches zero.  Then I feel the cane.  The cane stings and it's sharp.  Many, many strokes later I'm asking myself why I asked for this.  I start begging again.  He continues and I feel that I may actually start crying. He starts counting down again and I know the end is near.  After he reaches zero he gives me a couple more and he stops.

I can feel my bottom throbbing.  I reach and rub.  I'm still bent over on the bed and he comes up behind me and hugs me from behind.  I sink deeper into the bed from the weight of his body.  He bites me and I scream out.

As soon as he bites me a third time, he starts squeezing my ass.  I didn't think anything would hurt worse than the beating I just got, but I feel like I'm going to see stars.  I scream out, and I try to get him to stop.  He tells me that he has to and continues to squeeze.  I still beg him to stop, but he says that I can cry if I need to.  Soon enough he stops and I stay limp on the bed.

"Is that what you needed?"
"Yes sir."
"I haven't beat anyone like that in over 2 years."
He says with a smile in his voice.

This is 2.5 hours after.  I don't really stay red or bruise after long beatings/spankings.  But he did a number on me. There is no doubt that this will bruise.

Actual Life.

After waiting 45 minutes:

"I feel like an idiot waiting outside.  I'm assuming something happened.  I'm going to go home."
"I suck. I fell asleep with my kid. Sooooo sorry."
"It's okay."
"I feel really bad!!!"
"I was more worried something happened to you. I'll see you when you get back."
"You are sweet."
"(: Make it up to me, haha."
":)"

S is so busy.  Like always doing something busy.  I often wonder how he does it all.  I wonder what he gives up to be able to make everything in his life work and how he makes time to see me.  Then again, he doesn't do anything he doesn't want to do, a luxury he can afford.  Anyway, I haven't seen him in 3 weeks.  Which is hard because I'm more or less used to seeing him about once a week.  I was suppose to see him Monday, but as you can tell from the conversation above, it totally didn't happen.  At first I didn't know if I should be mad or worried because he doesn't just not answer his phone.  Feeling mad, upset, and worried, I texted him a final time and took the drive back home.  Driving home, the music was blasted but I couldn't help but be upset.  A couple tears slipped my eyes.  I crawled into bed and I tried to take my mind off of it, but nothing was a big enough distraction.  I slammed my computer shut and I tried to sleep.  I heard my phone go off, a short while later.  He texted me and I was flooded with relief that he was indeed okay.  I guess that was how I was feeling.

In any other scenario, I would've just been so mad.  I don't get bailed on, especially with no reason.  He's got me conditioned.  It would make me sick to admit, if I didn't love it so much.  His steady consistency has shown me that he's not going anywhere and that he means what he says, which is so refreshing.

No Control.

Before his palm meets my face, I shut my eyes in anticipation while thinking, 'please, not so hard.'

"Open your eyes and look at me."

I open my eyes and he continues.

"Keep your eyes open when I slap you.  If you close them, I'm going to slap you again."

This is going to be so hard for me.  I try to keep my eyes open.  I see his hand out of the corner of my eye.  Before I know it, he slaps me and asks if I closed my eyes.  I know I did so I tell him I did.  I open my eyes and he goes to slap me again and asks me again.  I'm unsure, so I tell him I closed them.  I don't want to get caught in a lie.  This continues for several more times.  His hand moves again. 

"No, wait..." softly comes out of my mouth.

"What did you just say? No, wait?! Who's in charge here?" 

*slap

"You are sir."
*slap
"Who's in charge?"
"YOU ARE SIR."

Frazzled from all the slaps across my face, I don't know if I shut my eyes again.

"Did you close your eyes?"
"I'm not sure sir."

I say not confidentially, as I slowly look into his eyes.  He gives a slight smile.  He knows that if he goes further he's going to have pushed me to far.