B asked me at our first meeting if I learned anything and I chose not to answer because I wasn't sure. He didn't push it. I wish I had the answer when he asked, but I didn't. Days have now passed and I know what I've learned that night.
I think of myself as a confidant person, well on most days anyway. But that Saturday night I learned how self-conscious I can be. I have never realized that before. I'm sure every girl gets self-conscious and as much as I tell myself that I'm pretty different than a typical girl, I guess I'm really not. I just like to fool myself into thinking things.
This all started to dawn on me during my commute back home, very early Sunday morning. And I've been left to ponder about it since. I've been asking myself questions since that night. It has been such a long time since I've questioned myself.
The frightening part of all of this is that I don't know where to find my answers. I want to be comforted, and reassured that what I want to figure out will come to me. But I don't know if anyone can do that for me, if I'm willing to let anyone in to do that for me. This is so very difficult.
No comments:
Post a Comment